


Before We Run Out of Time

by Rosaline_C



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Community: trope_bingo, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Trope Bingo Round 10, post s05e10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 09:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13808604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosaline_C/pseuds/Rosaline_C
Summary: Phil has already had his second shot at life and he really doesn't think he's going to get a third. Death might be scary but he's already done that once. Melinda May finding out is much scarier.





	Before We Run Out of Time

**Author's Note:**

> Oops, I meant to have this finished ages ago. Oh well, still got it posted before the new episode.

“If you don’t tell them I will.”

Yoyo’s words echoed in his head. He knew she wasn’t bluffing, and he knew she should tell his team so they don’t find out from someone else, but he didn’t know if he could do it. 

Fitz and Simmons would immediately jump into action and try everything they could to stop the inevitable. Yoyo had seemed pretty shaken when she’d told him that she knew her and Mack would be fine. Daisy, she’d be devastated but he knew she would be strong enough to lead after he was dead. Then there was May…

May wouldn’t accept that she was going to lose him. She would refuse to believe that it was even a possibility. She’d do whatever she needed to do to save him, but even she wouldn’t be able to stop it. He just hoped that losing him wouldn’t make her retreat back into herself and cut everyone out like she did after bahrain. She’d finally let the team in and he hoped they’d be able to help her through his death even if she didn’t think she needed help. 

This was the real reason why he hadn’t told her how he felt about her yet. She loved Andrew and she lost him. If she felt even a fraction of what he felt for her he didn’t want to put her through that again. 

“Phil,” she said quietly, coming up behind him and breaking him out of his thoughts. She sounded pissed, but like she was trying to hide it. He was going to have to be careful what he said or she was going to end up kicking his ass.

“May,” he said in response. He had the drill down. Keep cool. Pretend everything was normal. Don’t let her see the emotions trying to break through. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Well, we’re wanted criminals, so there’s that.” He hoped that was convincing enough to fool the woman who knew him better than anyone else. After all, he wasn’t lying. 

“Not buying it, Coulson. You’re keeping something from me.” She was starting to let her anger shine through.

“I…” He couldn’t continue. What was he supposed to say? “Sorry, May, I know we were finally getting close to admitting our feelings for each other, but it’s never going to happen now because I don’t want to hurt you. Oh, and by the way, I’m dying.” No, he couldn’t say that. 

She took a step closer to him, reaching out to put her hand on his arm. “Phil, just tell me.”

He looked her in the eyes and knew. “You already know, don’t you?”

Her face grew stony again. “Did you really think you could keep it from me?” Her anger was starting to break through a calm exterior. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Phil?” 

“Yoyo?” he asked quietly. 

“What?” she looked confused. Still pissed—but confused. 

“Did Yoyo tell you?” 

“Yoyo knows?” May was practically seething now. “I figured it out myself. I was already concerned when Robin never mentioned your name when she told me about the future.”

He nodded. He had asked Robin if he had raised her with May and she had confirmed what he was afraid of—he wasn’t going to live long enough to be able to do that. 

May moved her hand from his arm and poked him in the chest. “You think you’ve been so good at hiding the veins but you aren’t. I saw them and I know what they mean.”

“They could mean anything,” he argued. 

“Yes, but you kept it from me. You’d only do that if you were trying to protect me!” She practically spat the word protect. 

“What do you want me to say?” he snapped. He wasn’t mad at her--he was mad at himself--but getting mad at her was easier right now. 

“Just tell me the damn truth, Phil!” She looked more resigned than angry now. He wanted anger. Anger he could deal with. 

“I’m dying!” he spat. “Is that what you wanted to know?”

She looked stricken but composed herself quickly. “How can we stop it?”

He knew that’s what she was going to say. May wasn’t going to let him die without one hell of a fight. “There’s nothing you can do. You have to let me die.” That’s what Yoyo said, wasn’t it?

“Are you seriously asking me to let you die again?” Her voice was cold again. 

“Yes. I need Daisy to lead and I need you to make the right call and do whatever needs to be done.”

“Even let you die?” she spat. 

“Even that.”

“How the hell can you ask me to do that?” Her anger was back. Phil could see her clenching her fists, wanting to beat the shit out of something. “Do you think you mean so little to me that…”

“Mel…” She was furious now and he should just let her storm off---anger is what he had wanted, after all--but he just couldn’t. 

“You asked me to do that once and I couldn’t do it then,” she continued. “It’s even harder now that…”

“Now that what?” he asked, voice much softer now. He was too tired to fight anymore. Now he just wanted all the pain to stop. 

“That…” She stopped. She opened her mouth again but no words came out. He took a step closer to her, encouraging her to continue. She reached out and put a hand on his face. Taking a step towards him and pulling him closer, she covered his lips with hers. 

“Melinda,” he managed to get out when they finally took a breath. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this to her. 

“Phil, don’t,” she warned. 

“We can’t do this right now,” he argued. “It’s not fair to either of us. I’m dying.”

“I’m not going to let you die.” She kissed him again. It didn’t take long for him to soften and melt into her kiss. He had been waiting so long for this. The kiss he’d had with the LMD was nothing compared to the real thing. 

He could taste tears but he wasn’t sure if they were his or hers. Maybe a combination of both. When they parted he caressed her face. “Why did we wait so long?” she asked. 

“We thought we’d have more time.” 

“We will have more time,” she assured him. “We will find an answer to this.” 

He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay. He wished he still had the unwavering optimism he used to. Everything was so unclear right now. Except her. For now all he could do was kiss her again.

**Author's Note:**

> My trope bingo prompt was blackmail.


End file.
